Movie Review - Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Pt. 1

"These are dark times, there is no denying..."


Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 1, is a setup film. It is not much of a stand-alone story; everything that happens serves the main purpose of setting the stage for the real finale this summer. Hence the term setup film. But the seventh installment in the big screen adaptation series is also an extraordinarily beautiful film.

I have been a Harry Potter fan for most of my life, but I always treat things subjectively. As a fanboy, obviously this movie is a dream. But as a film critic, I still have a dear love for the movie, for several reasons.

First, let's get the bad stuff out of the way. While it is, as I said before, a beautiful film, it has many flaws. One of the flaws of a setup film is that it IS a setup film. It has very much a transitional purpose to it, which takes away from the overall magical, Harry Potter experience. This is not the ordinary Hogwarts adventure we're used to. In fact, Hogwarts is nowhere to be found in Deathly Hallows. The movie is just a series of buildups, culminating in one big cliffhanger that will make July 15th seem decades away.

For the extremely small percentage of you who don't know what's going on in Potter World, Harry, Ron, and Hermione have dropped out of school and are now on their own trying to find and destroy the remaining Horcruxes - pieces of Voldemort's soul they must get rid of in order to defeat him. The movie is 95% just the three of them, there are very few supporting characters in this installment, particularly in the middle act of the film, which lends itself to be both a strength and a weakness.

The weakness is that the middle act is very slow; they spend a lot of time camped out in the woods trying to figure out what they're doing next. With the presence of one Horcrux, it causes the characters to be easily anxious and angry, and this even leads to a conflict between the friends that ends with Ron leaving the group.

The strength is that as a result of this stationary isolation, the character development is stronger than we've ever seen it in a Potter film. There are some absolutely incredible scenes between the three kids who the world has literally watched grow up, and it leads Deathly Hallows to be the most moving and emotionally satisfying HP movie yet. We watch Harry and Hermione's relationship grow in Ron's absence, and the power of friendship feels stronger than ever. The best scene in the entire movie is one in which Harry comforts a saddened Hermione by dancing with her in their tent - a truly moving and heartwarming creation that was not in the book itself, but contains the spirit of its characters that Rowling would admire.

The movie has a lot going on, so it will definitely be a tough ride for those who aren't as fresh with the story material, although certain things are explained pretty blatantly, including an interesting animated sequence in which the deathly hallows are described.

The other major flaw of the film is the climax - it isn't bad, but it feels underwhelming in comparison to other more adventurous sequences in the movie. It's actually a very short climax, one that had room to be played out a little more suspenseful but chose to move along a bit too quickly.

These weaknesses, however, are definitely overshadowed by the greatness of the production. This is the most beautifully shot Potter yet, and may be the most beautifully shot movie of the year. The music, this time by Alexandre Desplat, definitely has a painful lack of the original HP themes, but if you can ignore that, the original score itself fits the movie perfectly. The editing strongly mirrors the excellence of these two factors as well.

As I said before, the film is also profoundly moving. These kids are now alone and without the safety net that Dumbledore and Hogwarts had always provided, and the movie perfectly depicts this dark and scary world. Tension is high and emotions are a mess, and it's fascinating to watch these kids, lost in the world, try and move around these factors.

It's incredible how excellent the action has gotten over the course of the series, and it would be an injustice not to include how good it is in this particular film. There is a breathtaking pursuit shortly after the movie begins that takes us through the sky and onto the highway during a battle between the Death Eaters and Potter and crew. Another fantastic sequence comes in the form of a mini-heist as the three leads must sneak into the ministry of magic. Another spectacular sequence takes place just before the climax as a group of "snatchers", agents out to find Harry, chase the three adolescents through the woods.

It is important to mention, as the three kids take up most of the movie by themselves, just how good they are. They've had an endearing compassion to them throughout the series, but here we see that post-Potter, Radcliffe, Watson, and Grint have very bright futures. I want to mention Emma Watson in particular - she's always done great as Hermione, but in Hallows, she's almost extraordinary. She can do more with a look on her face than most actresses in Hollywood can with a monologue, and she perfectly maintains a strong sense of female pride and assurance and childish fear and worry. Harry is emotionally driven and Ron is lost and confused, so there are many times where it's up to Hermione to save the day - and save the day she does. She's a wonder.

There is going to be much gripe over the film for its flaws - too slow, too un-Potter, too dark - but what people are forgetting is that this is only the first half of the epic finale. I almost feel like I'm cheating by judging this film by itself at all; it's part of something much bigger. Don't overestimate Part 1, there is more to come - this is merely a preview, a setup. And what a magical, thrilling, moving setup it is.

9.1 /10

Music Review: Kid Cudi- "Man on the Moon II: The Legend of Mr. Rager"

Kid Cudi is not the type of artist you can judge based on first impression.  When I heard his debut album, "Man on the Moon: The End of Day" for the first time, I was completely confused.  To be honest, I thought it was a piece of trash.  The concepts and beats were so weird, and a lot of the songs sounded almost dissonant upon first listen.  After a few listens, however, I finally understood why so many people liked Cudi.  He might not be the best rapper in terms of flow, but he more than holds his own with great production and album concepts.  Cudi has attained major popularity after the release of the first album, and his new album has been highly anticipated.  Although his first album had its shining moments, it definitely had its head-scratching moments as well. 

So here we are in 2010, one year later, listening to Cudi's newest album, "Man on the Moon II: The Legend of Mr. Rager."  I am not sure what to expect from this album, and it would be foolish to expect anything particular from Kid Cudi.  Part of the reason why Cudi is so successful is that he strives to do the unexpected and unthinkable.

Right from the get go, "Man on the Moon II" is dark and moody.  The intro track, "Scott Mescudi vs. The World," sets the tone for the entire album with its dark, strange melody and sobering lyrics.  Cudi's best aspect is his probably his brute honesty.  Not many rappers have enough guts to put their entire heart and soul into their tracks, let alone an entire album.   Although this might make Cudi not the most radio-friendly artist, it definitely gives his music a feeling you won't get from any other rapper in today's game. It's obvious that not everything is nice in the world of Kid Cudi.  "Don't Play This Song"  lays out a particularly stingy line about how Cudi has contemplated suicide.  "Marijuana"talks about how Cudi uses the herbal drug to relieve him of his pain.  If the beats weren't so interesting and twisted, this album could have possibly been a little too much of a downer.  When Cudi does decide to show off a little bit of swagger on one of his tracks, it's a nice change of pace.  My favorite song on the album is probably "Mojo So Dope," which features a confident and lively Cudi showing off some swagger.  It's a nice compliment to the otherwise dark album. 

Kid Cudi is not that great of a rapper.  His flow is chopped up, and his lyrics are bizarre at times.  He overcomes his shortcomings with psychedelic beats and sincerity.  It's kind of ironic how Cudi's faults make him such a good rapper.  "Man on the Moon 2" is not a classic for sure, but it's definitely worth listening to.  It's so much different than what any other rapper in the game today is producing.  It might be hard to like the album upon first listen, but play it a few more times and let it soak into your head.  It won't disappoint.

Top Tracks:

1. Mojo So Dope

2. Maniac

3. Marijuana

4. Mr. Rager

5. Scott Mescudi vs. The World

Album Rating: 84 (Very Good)

Rating Scale:

0-30: If this album was a child it would be a mistake
31-39: Bad
40-50: Below Average
51-59: Mediocre
60-69: Slightly Above Average
70-75: Solid
76-79: Good
80-85: Very Good
86-89: Great
90-94: Awesome
95-100: Classic

Movie Review - Hereafter

"If you're worried about being on your own, don't be. Cause you're not."

Clint Eastwood, the 80-year-old filmmaking legend, has been getting some crap for his new film about life and death, and where we go when the two cross paths. Many critics are calling it "cold" and "boring", and saying it's too tidy and quiet, so I went in ready to admire a great director but walk away waiting for his next film to blow me away. And maybe that's why this new movie, Hereafter, DID blow me away - but I don't want to give too much credit to expectations.

Every complaint I've heard about this movie - too quiet, too slow - these are the things I LOVED about the movie. This is a deep meditation on death and what happens when our time comes by a man who's age alone proves he knows a thing or two about life.

The plot surrounds three characters who are each affected by death in some way. In France we have a woman named Marie who experiences a near death experience in a tsunami scene that will blow your mind it's so good. In England we have a young boy named Marcus who loses his twin brother and is taken away from his mother by social services due to her substance abuse issues. And then we have Matt Damon, in an Oscar worthy (but certain to be ignored) performance as a tormented blue collar worker named George who has a gift to "connect" with people and help them communicate with lost love ones.


The three stories are intertwined in an interesting fashion - while all stories are seamed together (as opposed to part one, part two, part three Amores Perros -style), the characters are actually presented in order - Marie, George, Marcus, repeat. This provides a unique flow to the film that I haven't seen before.

I don't want to give much away, but Hereafter handles its cliche and over-the-top aspects - i.e. the idea of a character "connecting with the dead" - in a remarkably calm and believable manner. You obviously still have to suspend your belief - but not by as much as you'd expect.

The movie begins with an outstanding tsunami sequence that will leave you breathless - while Eastwood is known for his more quiet films, he can nonetheless direct an action scene. Then the movie slows down incredibly; this is where it will split viewers. If you embrace the feel of Hereafter and meet Eastwood halfway, you will be engrossed and haunted. If you choose to cling onto the excitement of the opening scene and anticipate more energy, then you will be severely disappointed.

While I would strongly recommend you do the former, and it didn't pose too much of a problem for me, this is definitely still a flaw - the movie hits some narrative speed bumps, at times confused with the direction it wishes to take, and maybe going down a few roads that could have been cut out to create a slightly shorter film. There is also some cheesiness here and there, but this criticism is very light considering the way Eastwood can make the most cliche scene in history seem relatively natural.

It's hard to recommend Hereafter, because I know views will be split - they already are. But I have to say that I have not seen a more moving film this year. The quiet anxiety of Hereafter sneaks up and floors you - there are some genuinely devastating moments, both heart-wrenching and heart-warming. It's a movie that will stay with you for days after you leave the theater. I cared for these characters, I was moved by these characters, and these characters gave me a little bit of hope. Hereafter, a movie about death and what happens when our time comes may not be everyone's cup of tea, but it's one of the most life-affirming movies I've ever seen.

9.2 /10 (Excellent)

Movie Review - Jackass 3D

"Santa had a few last night so this ain't gonna feel so good..."

After a decade of punching each other in the balls, the boys of Jackass actually have something to be proud of - they're leaving a legacy behind, one that is most likely never to be repeated to the same extent (at least not by any intelligent human beings).

How do you review a movie like Jackass? People know exactly what it is. You know what to expect. It either is your thing or isn't. Me personally? I have a blast watching these boys do what they do best, and it could be a generational thing, but I actually think there is something compelling about Jackass; you can try and try to make a movie about male adolescence, and even exceed admirably - but nothing will ever truly capture the anxiety and naive fascination with the grotesque that are displayed in Knoxville and his team.

It's because of this that there's actually a looming sadness to Jackass 3; these boys aren't really boys anymore. It's very apparent in the movie that these guys are getting "too old for this shit". There's more fear, there's more reluctance to face the danger, and in fact, there's less danger in general and more gross-outs. The guys even point this out at one point - as Steve-O straps into a porta-potty bungie contraption filled with poop - when someone recalls the fact that Steve-O was putting a hook through his cheek and being used as shark bait years earlier. I'm not saying I want to do the toilet thing - but between that and shark bait? You know what you'd pick.

That's not to say there isn't danger; hallways filled with tasers and wild bovine are invited to the party. But there are still more pranks than normal, and they're funnier than ever. I won't spoil anything, but there's one midget-related scene that had me turning over in my seat laughing.

The sequences in this movie are actually much more well shot than normal - better angles, more editing techniques; the stunts aren't just funny, they LOOK incredible. Although the use of 3D is completely pointless and really doesn't serve much to the film, unfortunately, but hey, guess what Hollywood: it never has.

It seems that in Jackass 3, Knoxville and gang are saying goodbye. As I said before, these guys are getting old, and there's a strange feeling when that familiar guitar chord twangs and the movie fades out that it may be the last time. This makes sense, not just because of their age, but because of the obvious question, "How long can they keep doing this?" Jackass will always have a special place in my heart, but it's definitely time for goodbye. With one final punch in the balls, my hat's off to these guys for creating the most entertaining display of male idiocy ever put on screen. These jackasses have actually been pretty fun to have around.

7.8 /10 (Good)

Movie Review - The Kids Are All Right

"Yeah that's uh, that's cool, I uh, love lesbians..."


There are scenes in director Lisa Cholodenko's The Kids Are All Right that are so incredibly acted, so sharply written, and so well directed that you forget you're watching characters and instead imagine these actors as real people that are walking around somewhere in the world working out their dysfunctions. This is where the heart of the movie lies - this is one of the truest portrayals of an American family you're ever likely to see in a movie.

Anette Bening and Julianne Moore play lesbian partners who are living life just like anyone else when their kids - one 18, about to leave for college, and the other 15 - decide to hunt down their donor dad, plaid by Mark Ruffalo. Ruffalo begins a relationship with the family, which eventually leads to events that both tear the family apart and bring them closer.

I don't want to give too much away since some of the events that transpire, while they seem like typical indie-flick quirkiness, actually build up to a truly moving climax.

While the writing is real and resonates, the real stars of the film are the actors, mainly the two leads, Moore and Bening. They play their parts with such emotional conviction that you never doubt their characters for a second. It feels like a real relationship, and that's why the bumps hit so hard and the pleasures feel so good.

Mark Ruffalo is excellent as the donor dad, but I'm not sure where all the Oscar buzz is coming from. Ruffalo is an exceptional actor who is long overdue for a nomination, there's no doubt about that - but at no point in the movie did I feel like this was the one it should happen for.

The kids in the movie, played by Mia Wasikowska and Josh Hutcherson, shine as well - particularly Wasikowska, who really gets into the skin of her troubled youth in the midst of growing up. In the end, the movie is truly about them - the kids.

The film definitely hits some bumps along the way; the story loses its way a little bit around the middle as it tries to figure out which characters it wants to focus on, and when it chooses to focus on two in particular that I won't give away, things hit the biggest low in the movie - these events ARE important, but the filmmakers took a little too much time in displaying them.

However, a "low" for The Kids Are All Right isn't all that low at all. The movie starts and ends so strongly, in fact, that the lows don't even matter so much. It's funny, sad, and very touching - this movie isn't taking any big risks or making any big statements, and it settles into this passive niche very nicely. We the audience are really just flies on the wall in the lives of these people, through their ups and downs, watching them hurt, watching them love, and celebrating the fact that through all their troubles, they are indeed gonna be all right.

8.8 /10 (Great)

Movie Review - The Social Network

"I'm sure you're gonna be a very successful 'computer person'. But you're gonna go through life thinking that girls don't like you because you're a geek. And I am telling you, from the bottom of my heart, that that won't be true. It'll be because you're an asshole."

The Social Network, David Fincher's new film about the creation of Facebook, begins with possibly the greatest break-up sequence of all time. Mark Zuckerberg (Jesse Eisenberg in an Oscar-worthy performance) sits across from his girlfriend, played by future American girl with a dragon tattoo Rooney Mara, discussing the importance of Final Clubs. Zuckerberg dances around the conversation, frequently changing topics and then returning to previous ones without warning, as if he was sorting through transcripts in his head. The scene ends with a heart broken computer nerd, and begins what will eventually turn into the biggest phenomenon of our generation.

Mark returns home and creates a program while drunk that will become so popular that it crashes the entire Harvard computer system. It is because of this that Mark is approached by the Winkelvoss twins (played by the one and only Armie Hammer, another actor worthy of some awards attention) and their companion Divya. The boys approach Zuckerberg to assist them in creating a sort of dating site, but with a catch - it's for Harvard students only, and the idea of exclusivity maintains a major attraction to the borderline sociopath.

However, Zuckerberg instead takes this idea and expands it, and with the financial help of his best friend Eduardo Saverin (future Spider-man star Andrew Garfield in a star-making performance) and his very own computer codes, creates theFacebook.com. 

This of course spirals the boys into all kinds of trouble as they navigate social status and dodge the bullets of their WASPY twin opponents. The situation is exacerbated with the arrival of Napster founder Sean Parker (Justin Timberlake in the 4th award worthy performance of the film), which leads Mark into yet another conflict, this time with his own best friend.

The movie is comprised of three different storylines - the two separate court depositions Zuckerberg faces from the twins and Eduardo, and the story of what actually happened (which may or may not be entirely true). This gives the structure of the film an extremely fluid motion that will hold your attention for the entire span of its two very short hours.

To say that The Social Network is a masterpiece would be an understatement; it isn't just a masterpiece, let alone the film of the year. It is the movie of our generation - a film that defines our time and serves the best social commentary of an era since Th Great Gatsby. 

Aaron Sorkin, the writer, may have earned himself his first Oscar for his incredibly fast paced, witty, riveting and heartbreaking script. Scene after scene we are set in a room with incredibly interesting and layered characters who are all on some level of genius as the quibble with each other over issues ranging from what party they should attend to how many hundreds of millions of dollars one owes the other.

David Fincher has directed his finest film yet, and that's saying A LOT since I consider his 2007 film Zodiac a classic. His attentiveness to visual splendor may seem odd for a movie that's essentially simple and character based, but the man has proved that he is more than capable of handling any situation and changing a typical debate to a maniacal conflict that pins you to your seat.

The entire movie rests on the shoulders of more than capable acting, but there are four performances in particular that elevate the movie to another level - Jesse Eisenberg, Andrew Garfield, Justin Timberlake, and Armie Hammer. 

Eisenberg is electrifying in the lead role; sometimes subtly conveying facial expressions and thoughtful imagining in a way that's so good it's scary, and sometimes spitting out Sorkin's light-speed dialogue like nothing you've ever seen. 

Garfield is quietly heartbreaking as Eduardo; whether he's calmly maintaining the boyish helplessness of his character or letting his talent truly shine in a loud and subtly powerful confrontation with his former best friend, the young Brit is a man to watch. 

Timberlake will rock your socks off as the sly and devious high school dropout Sean Parker, a cunning snake who slithers in and rips out Mark and Eduardo's relationship from under them. 

The role that will most likely be overlooked is Armie Hammer, who truly steals every scene he's in, and on top of that has to play two people at the same time. Employing a body double in Josh Pence and digitally placing Hammer's face on, the film produces an incredible illusion, one that could not have been done without the actor's miraculous portrayal of the twins - while both are similar, they are still two different people, and therefore have different mannerisms, voices, and slight behaviors. It's an incredibly nuanced performance.

In the end, it's the movie's layers that truly stand out the most. This may be a story of our digital age, but its themes are as old as time. It's a story about a guy who creates the most accessible way possible for people to connect, and yet can't connect with anyone himself. It's a rivetingly tragic conclusion, and the movie sneakily hides this within its humor and entertainment value - it gives you this silent feeling that something is wrong, and it haunts you.

To sum up, The Social Network is beautifully directed, brilliantly written, incredibly well-acted, hilarious, entertaining, and ultimately tragic. What more could you possibly want out of a film? It's a movie that leaves you pinned to your seat, not even caring about Facebook itself but thinking about the ways we connect with other people, and that having a lot of "friends" doesn't mean you're not alone. The movie is like it's protagonist - intelligent, fast-moving, and scarily visionary. It's a knockout. 

10 /10 (Classic)

Music Review Roundup

Haven't had a lot of time for music reviews, as Hunter, Matt and I have all been very busy with countless other projects. So I'm gonna give you a quick rundown of albums that have been released recently you should run out and buy, listen to somehow, or skip. I'll rate it the normal style, and then assign it one of those three categories. Here we
go!

Interpol - Interpol
Interpol will always be known for one album. Turn off the Bright Lights. They will never top it. Never. But they could have at least tried. This album entirely lacks the feel of their first two discs, and that's not a good thing. Don't get me wrong, progression is a fundamental concept most bands need to adopt. But it's called PROgression for a reason. You're supposed to get better. Instead, Interpol has released what is a front runner for the most disappointing album of the year. I thoroughly did not enjoy this album, and the most disappointing thing isn't that I paid for it. It's that I expected more from Interpol, and got not much in return. The comparison to Editors needs to stop, because right now the Editors are better.
Final Score: 4.8/10 (Skip)

Linkin Park - A Thousand Suns
While Minutes to Midnight wasn't a bad Linkin Park album, it didn't live up to the hype surrounding the band after 2 great albums and a remix album with Jay-Z. Now that can be attributed to a number of things, because everyone knows that Linkin Park are good musicians. At least they were. A Thousand Suns finds Linkin Park abandoning all concept of logic and presumably thinking "Let's make a concept album about the world dealing with a nuclear fallout and the desolation and loneliness associated with such things. Except let's not use solid song structure or good lyrics". Well, as crazy as this sounds, this idea didn't exactly work. Don't get me wrong, there are good songs here. The first single The Catalyst isn't bad, and neither are songs like Blackout and Wretches and Kings. But the album takes forever to get going, contains some songs that don't sound like anything but AM radio static and nails being dropped on the floor, and the concept would have been cool only in the Cold War. I didn't have high expectations for this album initially, and I'm glad I didn't. I would have been disappointed. Linkin Park needs to either go back to Hybrid Theory, or have Mike Shinoda make another Fort Minor album. Please?
Final Grade: 6.8/10 (Worth one listen)

Bruno Mars - Doo-Wops and Hooligans
Bruno Mars, single artist. He can make a hook, but can he make an album? After the greatness of "Nothin' on You", Bruno Mars was at the top of his game. He also co-wrote "Right Round" by Flo Rida, so his penchant for catchy songs is close to unparalleled radio-wise. But Bruno Mars can sing also. His voice is great, especially on songs like "Just The Way You Are", "Grenade" and "Liquor Store Blues". He also sings with an old time feel, and makes you think that you're listening to the voice of a 1960's blues artist rather than an upstart 20-something year old on a debut album. It's a gift, and Mars shouldn't change it. The only issue I have with the album is the cheesy feel some songs have. While Mars sounds entirely genuine on most songs, songs like "First Time" fall flat due to their tired and true subject material that's been done by everyone and their cousin. However, Mars has made a name for himself that people won't soon forget. And a voice they better get used to hearing.
Final Grade: 8.5/10 (Buy it)

Lil' Wayne - I Am Not A Human Being
Free Weezy....so he can make a real album. This "album" is a collection of tracks recorded before Lil' Wayne went to jail, so it's expected that they sound a little outdated. However, they're far from bad. "Gonorrhea", despite it's god awful title, is actually a decent song. Drake is featured on 3 songs here, as well as Nicki Minaj and a few other guests. Highlights include "Gonorrhea", "With You", "I'm Single, "Right Above It" and "Bill Gates". I'm just hoping Lil' Wayne gets out in November and immediately finishes Tha Carter 4. It's what everyone wants to hear, and this helps for just a little bit.
Final Grade: 7.8/10 (Give it a listen)
Maroon 5 - Hands All Over
And finally, the album I'm most conflicted about. It's not a BAD album, but it's not GOOD. And I don't know why. I really can't pinpoint one specific reason. The songs are carefully crafted and the melodies are above mediocre, yet I can't stick with this album. I find myself having trouble listening to one song all the way through before I hit Next and move on. The highlight is definitely the closer "Out of Goodbyes" featuring Lady Antebellum. It's a great song and worth a few listens....if you can make it to the end of the album. Maroon 5 has always weighed its success on the voice of Adam Levine, and while his voice is the same here, the instrumental structure lacks significantly. It makes you finally realize the importance of a band, and that it takes everyone to make a good album.
Final Grade: 7/10 (Your call, skip or give it a listen)

Review Round-Up: The Week of September 19th

The JCA site has been down for a while, and we're celebrating it's return with a big review round-up. Here are some small reviews for big shows and movies over the past few weeks, to be followed up by Graham later this week with some album reviews.

MOVIES

The Other Guys

Adam McKay teams up once again with his partner Will Ferrell to add another bromance to their previous three efforts - the great (Anchorman), the good (Talladega Nights), and the decent (Step Brothers). This time they're tackling the cop duo comedy with The Other Guys, with a movie that surprisingly stopped the team's downfall in quality right in its tracks. No, The Other Guys is not even close to matching the delightful insanity that was exploited so well in Anchorman, but it managed to play out a full length much better than the uneven Step Brothers. This film falls into the middle with Talladega - fun, occasionally hilarious, and thoroughly entertaining, even if the movie is sometimes too over the top to bear.

The Verdict: 7.9 /10 (Good)

Scott Pilgrim vs. the World
Edgar Wright, the comically genius director of Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz, teams up with awkward teen icon Michael Cera to bring us this new musically infused, naively romantic, and childishly bittersweet tale that will dazzle your vision (employing some of the most daring and inventive visuals I've ever seen on film) and melt your heart. It's funny, it's sweet, and it's a total blast. A true teen fantasy romance for the 21st century that happens to feel more real than anything else released lately.
The Verdict: 9.4 /10 (Incredible)

Pirahna 3D

There are only 3 things you need to know about Pirahna 3D: it's a spoof, it has a purposefully horrible screenplay, and Jerry O' Connel gets his penis cut off. It's trash, but you can count me in.

The Verdict: 5 /10 (The grade really doesn't matter, this film achieved its goal.)

Machete

Robert Rodriguez, famed Quentin Tarantino comparison and the creator of Once Upon A Time in Mexico, returns to the screen after a long hiatus with Machete, another gut-busting, bloodthirsty tale of Mexican pulp fiction. Rodriguez carries much of the film with an entertaining and savage gusto, but too often the revolution enthusiast becomes too self conscious - in some scenes, he magically satirizes the over the top nature of the very grindhouse genre he's celebrating, but he also spends a lot of time trying to humanize his characters, making the balance uneven and throwing off the tone at times. But for the most part he picks his act back up and delivers a sick, twisted ride that will twist your gut like a stab from a machete.

The Verdict: 7.8 /10 (Good)

The Town

Ben Affleck, fresh off his directorial debut Gone Baby Gone (a film that is very good but nothing too special), returns to the director's chair with The Town, a conventional but nonetheless riveting cops n' robbers tale. Ben Affleck is great on screen as the film's lead, but it's Jeremy Renner, star of last year's Oscar winning The Hurt Locker, that completely steals the show. His final scene will both shake you and stupefy. While the movie's story has been told a million times, its fantastic cast and incredible direction makes The Town a true wonder - a film that reminds us that you don't need big, brainy twists to tell a good story - you just need a good storyteller.

The Verdict: 9.1 /10 (Incredible)

Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps

Gordon Gecko, the role in the original Wall Street that won Michael Douglas an Oscar, said in 1987, "Greed, for the lack of a better word, is good." In Oliver Stone's follow-up, Money Never Sleeps, greed is now "legal". What a haunting thought - one that stings with the fact that the movie never follows up on it. Money Never Sleeps - despite great performances and a few moments that definitely shine - is essentially a failure. It may ditch the cheese of the original, but it employs even more cliches, including a happy, Hollywood commercial ending that made me cringe in my seat. It's definitely a good movie - if just barely - but with the talent and subject matter involved, this should have been a great movie. However, Oliver Stone is too busy making political statements to focus on creating a solid story with compassionate characters. Money may never sleep, but this movie sure does.

The Verdict: 7.1 /10 (Good)

How the year stacks up so far - the top 5 films from the first 9 months:

1. Inception (10)

2. Toy Story 3 (9.6)

3. Scott Pilgrim vs. the World (9.4)

4. Winter's Bone (9.3)

5. The Town (9.1)

TV PREMIERES

Chuck (NBC, Monday Night)

Chuck has been one of my favorite new shows on TV - it's fun, clever, heartwarming, and just totally awesome. And it's latest season was definitely still great - but it's finale failed to grip me like its previous season did. But great news: Chuck returns with a bang, delivering a totally entertaining episode that is exciting and funny at the same time. Now that Chuck is over its bump of trying to keep itself on TV, it can stop being self conscious and be the little devil that it is - and I couldn't be more excited for what's to come.

The Verdict: 9.2 /10 (Amazing)

Glee (Fox, Tuesday Night)

I really don't have much to say about the Glee premiere, other than I hope we can get past it. I feel like the father of a perfect child who just did something naughty - I'm so in love with it that I'm just going to pretend like this mistake never happened. One of TV's most energetic and show-stopping programs put on its worst episode to date - a boring, dull, and depressing episode that had very few moments worth recognition. No reason to be concerned just yet though - I'm confident it can pick up the slack and return to being, well, gleeful.

The Verdict: 5.8 /10 (Mediocre)

Community (NBC, Thursday Night)

Community, a show that went from being decent at its start to great at its end, really went out with a bang with one of my favorite season finales from May of this year. Its premiere doesn't quite follow up that finale the way I hoped it would - it's definitely not as good, but it also quickly brings to an end all possible branches of controversy. Still, the season opener reminds us why we've grown to love the show, and has its share of good laughs - particularly from an awesome guest appearance by Betty White.

The Verdict: 8.2 /10 (Great)

30 Rock (NBC, Thursday Night)

What is there to say about the 30 Rock premiere? It's great, I mean did you expect anything less? If there is one consistently hysterical show on TV it's this one, and it continues its streak. The season 5 premiere isn't the series' best episode, but in a series that hasn't really had a mediocre episode, who cares? The bottom line is, it's awesome - and the show still feels fresh, with no sign of aging anytime soon. Here's to eternal life.

The Verdict: 8.7 /10 (Great)

The Office (NBC, Thursday Night)

The Office, in its third season, may have been one of TV's top 5 shows at the time - it was gut wrenchingly funny, obnoxiously absurd, but also felt very real and in touch with its characters. It was a truly magical show. With season 4, it went from magical to great. Then with season 5, from great to good. Last year's season six was downright one of the biggest disappointments I've seen come out of the entertainment industry in a long time. The show was trying too hard, inconsistent, and failed to go anywhere. And then to top it off, the finale was so mediocre, I don't even remember much about it. All of these reasons add up to why The Office had my favorite premiere of the week: IT'S BACK. Starting off with a fun and goofy musical intro that the cynics will pan but the true fans will die for, the show returns to its roots - outlandish but surprisingly real characters, along with painful awkwardness that will make you cringe and bust out laughing at the same time. This is a very old fashioned episode of The Office, and I like the feeling. This being Carrell's last season, I hope it's here to stay.

The Verdict: 9.5 /10 (Incredible)

Music Review - Arcade Fire's "The Suburbs"

BY HUNTER CHRISTIAN

In the suburbs I...I learned to drive...

In 2004, a little band by the name of Arcade Fire released a little record by the name of "Funeral", a dark and hauntingly emotional meditation on life, death, and moving on, inspired by the passing of several of the band's family members. Three years later, after "Funeral" was proclaimed one of the greatest rock albums of all time almost unanimously by fans and critics, they released their sequel, "Neon Bible". While not quite matching up to Funeral's emotional mastery, the album, whose themes consisted of social out-lashing and political statements instead of death and loneliness, was still met with universal acclaim. Now, another three years later, arguably the most famous band in the independent music industry returns with their third LP, "The Suburbs". Question is, when does the slump come? Now? How do you follow up two massively successful records with expectations sky high? An even better question, is it possible?

According to Arcade Fire, hell yeah. Making a leap from their original 10-11 song structure to an album consisting of 16 songs, AF once again reaches for the stars, and their ambition plows through with epic force. Returning to some of the themes from Funeral such as loneliness and repression, the band still manages to create and album that feels like them and at the same time something totally new.

The Breakdown:

The album begins with "The Suburbs", a darkly hypnotic yet simple chord-riff of a song, which was also the record's first single. While the tune is immediate, it takes a while to fully grasp; but once it takes hold of you, it will haunt you and not let go.

We then fade into track 2, "Ready to Start", one of the highlights of the album. The song moves at a steady pace with an irresistible beat, soaring into a beautiful chorus by frontman Win Butler backed up by backup singer Regine Chassagne.

"Modern Man" is next, a simple yet gorgeous motion on living in our world and facing the failures of life. The pretty chorus is one of the high points of the album.

"Rococco" slows things down a bit, not quite as catchy or haunting as the record's first three tracks, but definitely an interesting listen, with a chorus consisting of vocal experiments with the title word.

"Empty Room" is short and fast, in fact the shortest song on the album besides the outro, and carries an explosive anxiety to it. The beginning rush of violins will catch you right off the start.

Next is "City of Children", for me the low point of the record. It's based in an interesting and well-paced riff - and keep in mind the low point on this album is hardly a "low point" - but at a 16-track length, if one song had to be let go, this one just doesn't have the energy or magic of most of the rest.

We then move into one of the album's two-part tracks, "Half Light I", a gorgeous, ambitious, and epic track with a pulsating heart and beautiful vocals, putting it at one of the best on the album. Part 2, "Half Light II (No Celebration)", however, loses much of the steam of it's predecessor, and while carrying a great chorus and full of energy, definitely could have been cut down from its 4 minute-27 second running time.

Up next is "Suburban War", a gentle meditation on the anxiety of youth, carried by a beautifully quiet and simple guitar riff.

If upon reaching track 10 you're beginning to run out of steam, the album's other single released with The Suburbs, "Month of May", will wake you the hell up. Moving quicker and with more edgy flare than anything Arcade Fire has ever written, this rocky punk anthem explodes with energy and is a total blast - a refreshing shake up to mix the genre around. As a single, the song loudly proclaimed that Arcade Fire was back, and taking fuckin' names.

Things then slow down again as we move into "Wasted Hours", a gentle and pretty song that even continues the lyrics of Month of May - "we're still driving around and around" (this repetition of theme and continuation of lyrics happens frequently throughout the album and adds a touch of magic to its concept and ensuing effect). While the song is nice to listen to on its own, being track 11 of 16, it will definitely have you questioning its necessity on the album.

Without the followup track to Wasted Hours, "Deep Blue", this question may not sneak through, but Deep Blue is more of the same pretty quietness, only it does it better, with a subtle sadness to it's edgy chorus.

"We Used to Wait" is next, another song released early by the band. The song takes a little too long during its buildup, but the payoff in the last half of the song or so is so vibrant and electric that you don't even care.

The album begins to reach its ending with the peak of the entire record: the second track pair, beginning with "Sprawl I (Flatland)". Sprawl I is a soft, haunting, tragic build, quietly sneaking into your soul and hypnotizing you, paralyzing your thoughts before rushing you into part 2, "Sprawl II (Mountains Beyond Mountains)". Sprawl II rings with 80's pop fuzz and techno rhythm, with Arcade Fire swirling in their own edgy influence. Alone, these two songs don't match the catchy rhythms or mind bending thematics of The Suburbs or Ready to Start, but combing as part I and II, the Sprawl pair caps the album's high point.

Finally we reach the closing, which may be my personal favorite part of the album: a slow, haunting, strung out, minute and a half reprise of the album's opener, "The Suburbs (continued)". It's tough to call it a stand alone song, since it really is just a continuation as its title states, but the way this gentle track hypnotically closes out the record leaves you so stunned and pinned to your seat that at that point the album's length doesn't even matter, you just can't help but think: wow.

Arcade Fire have yet again proved they're the best in the business by creating a third album that pulls off the impossible: being hugely ambitious and branching out from the sounds of the past two albums, while retaining the qualities we love about the band. It's not even the least of the three, soaring high above Neon Bible. It isn't perfect; not all of its songs match the grand scale or power of the others. The record's tragic flaw is that at 16 songs, it's definitely a long haul, yet none of the songs feel so unnecessary or bland that they could be removed; instead, perhaps a shortening of some of the lesser songs or combination of the best parts of them would have worked better. In the end, though, it doesn't really matter. The Suburbs rocks so hard that it puts most other modern bands to shame, and makes you forget the question of when Arcade Fire will slump and asks, when will they reach their peak?

While their worldview may be bleak, Arcade Fire pours more honesty into their music than any other band in the business, and asks you to dive into their emotions with them. What they create is so refreshing and universal, that there's nobody you'd rather get lost with.

9.6 /10 (Incredible)

-The Scale-

0: Failure

1: Horrendous

2: Awful

3: Terrible

4: Bad

5: Average

6: Passable

7: Good

8: Great

9: Excellent

9.5: Incredible

10: Classic

Loyalty in Sports

I'm not one to be shy when it comes to giving my opinion, so excuse me if I offend anyone in this next article. The last months has been the hardest of my young, 17 year old life. You see, I'm a Cleveland Cavaliers fan. A lifetime fan. My favorite player, to this day, remains Zydrunas Ilgauskas, despite the fact that he just left for the Miami Heat. There's nothing special about Ilgauskas. He's tall, sure, but he doesn't have an outstanding post move, and his main move is a sweet jumper followed by a slow jog back. His story is amazing. Almost never played in the NBA after 3 seasons due to a year and a half of foot problems. Almost has an all metal foot due to breaking his foot multiple times and receiving metal plates. Almost won an NBA championship - 3 times.

But he didn't. And he has chosen to chase his dreams in South Beach. And I respect that. I do. I'm not mad, and I'll watch his games for that one reason. I'd be fine with the Heat winning an NBA championship, just so I can see Ilgauskas, or Big Z as us Cavalier fans lovingly called him for 14 up and down seasons, hoist that trophy over his big, bald, shiny head and smile as his wife and twins watch and cheer. Hell, I'd love that!

But I hope LeBron fails. I hope Chris Bosh fails. I hope Dwayne Wade starts thinking "Wow these guys are selfish, image based players who don't care about the team picture. Pat, I want a trade!". On July 8th, I finally accepted what I've been trying to find an exception to: There truly is no loyalty in sports. For 7 years, I cheered for LeBron. I bought jerseys, t-shirts, hats, and twice I bought tickets. All from allowance money I received from mowing my lawn and watching my neighbors cat. But that's not the point. The point is that I was loyal. To the team, not just LeBron. Was he our best player? No doubt about it. But he was the worst PERSON on our team. I used to think he was better than Jordan, Kobe, Russell, Magic, Dr. J, EVERYONE. Now, I think that he has no legacy. Sure, he'll put up great stats in Miami. But he will never again be compared to Michael Jordan or Bill Russell. Jordan and Russell would have wanted to beat the living crap out of Chris Bosh and Dwyane Wade. How do I know this? Jordan has said it. Not publically, but it's been revealed. Michael Wilbon, host of Pardon the Interruption, a program that airs daily on ESPN, is close with Jordan and many former NBA players. Apparently Jordan is OUTRAGED by LeBron leaving, and this whole "let's team up and win championships together!" mindset. That makes two of us.

I can tell you right now that I didn't watch 'The Decision', the now infamous LeBron announcement on ESPN held in Greenwich, Connecticut. Not because I didn't want to, I probably would have. No, I was busy working. And I think that saved my image of LeBron a little bit. Because from what I've heard, LeBron was arrogant in the way he answered questions. He didn't thank Cleveland, the fans, the millions of people who supported their "hometown hero". I would probably hate LeBron right now. I don't hate him, I just will never like him again. There really is nothing he could do to get me, and I'm sure thousands of others, back on his side. And I'm sure he's ok with that. I'm just a writer, and he's partying in Vegas and making millions of dollars. My opinion doesn't matter to him.

But it should matter. Fans opinions should matter to LeBron, and they don't. He seemingly doesn't understand that in order to have a legacy, you must be liked. You MUST be loyal. Loyalty is a two way street. If you are loyal to your team, and not give up in games (see: Celtics series, Magic series of 2009), you will be loved. And the fans will be loyal to you. It works both ways. He doesn't understand this. The greats have loyalty. Jordan stayed with one team his whole career (Wizards don't count!). Russell was loyal till the very end, and he's saved his legacy (more on this later). I just don't see LeBron saving his legacy. A sign in his hometown of Akron used to read "Akron. Hometown of LeBron James". Now this sign reads "Akron. Home of LeBron James, 2010 NBA Traitor of the Year. Akron Hates You, and so does the rest of Ohio". Ouch. That should hurt him. But I doubt it does.

LeBron "wrote" a letter for the Akron Beacon Journal that was published today, August 3rd. I doubt he really wrote that. It was too kind for him. He's angry, and everyone knows it. I don't think he has anything nice to say about Ohio, so I think one of his high school buddies who control his every move and will inevitably ruin his career and legacy wrote the letter. Cleveland isn't mentioned once in the letter. That's fair play. We burnt his jerseys, took back his "King" nickname, took down the egotistical billboard of him, and Dan Gilbert hilariously and wonderfully blasted him in all capital letters and Comic Sans font. Classic. So I'm fine with him having nothing nice to say to Cleveland, because we don't want to hear it.

I think most people are mistaken with why Cavaliers fans are upset. It isn't because he left. Honestly, it's not. I began to understand during the Cavaliers-Celtics series of this year that he wasn't coming back. And it made me numb to any further moves by James. We're upset that he left without a word. He didn't have the respect to call Gilbert and say "Hey Dan, I'm sorry but I've decided to go to Miami. It's the right place for me, and I want to win a championship. Thanks for the 7 years you gave me, I'll never forget them". That's all Gilbert deserved, and he never got it. That's what hurts the most, and I won't ever forget it.

Maybe I should grow up a little bit and realize that sports are a business first and foremost, and that I'm a child for thinking that a player could want to play in his hometown for the most money possible for the most loyal fans in the business. At least Toronto fans knew Chris Bosh would leave. He seemed disinterested this year, didn't care if the Raptors made the playoffs or not, and publically asked fans on Twitter where he should play next year. Now LeBron and Bosh are together. It's only fair that they should have to play with each other.

So that's it. LeBron will play in Miami for at least 6 more years, Cleveland will be rebuilding, Chris Bosh will be upset quickly that he's the 3rd wheel and will probably demand a trade. The cycle will continue. I should have seen the signs. Loyalty in sports doesn't exist. Whether it's Bill Russell leaving the Celtics with no center, no coach, and then selling his story for $10,000. Whether it's Roger Clemens giving a big F U to all of Boston, with eery similarities to LeBron James. And now LeBron James. I'm not a fortune teller, so I don't know how this will finish. But I can assure you that LeBron will no longer be universally liked, like Jordan, Bird, Russell, Magic, Julius Erving, and Pistol Pete. Even Kobe has less haters now. And it's sad that LeBron let Maverick Carter be his manager. Because LeBron's making all the wrong moves.

I'll finish with a quick story. Last week, LeBron held a 3 day party in Las Vegas. This story was recently on ESPN, and quickly removed by his PR people. But those who saw it, like me, had a taste of a LeBron James previously not seen before. An Akron DJ was hired to host the event. That was class by PRMR, Maverick Carter and companies firm, the group that advises LeBron. I'll give them that. But when the Akron DJ yelled out "Hey LeBron, Akron still loves you!" LeBron gave the man "the finger". And that's how this whole thing played out. The cities of Akron and Cleveland gave LeBron nothing but love, support, adoration, and financial security, and he gave them the finger as he dribbled a ball out the door.

It's not about you, LeBron. It's about the team. Good luck, Ilgauskas. LeBron, break a leg.

Movie Review - Dinner for Schmucks

"I can make you say it Barry. Just say it: You can eat my pudding."

Another Paul Rudd and Steve Carell comedy? What is this, The 40 Year Old Virgin all over again? I admit, I was skeptical about seeing this movie. I was never a huge fan of Austin Powers, and to learn that the director of that series, Jay Roach, had signed on to direct this movie made me even more skeptical. And THEN I find out that it's a remake of a brilliant French film called "Le diner de cons". I'm always skeptical of remakes, especially if it's horror movies. But when my friend offered to pay for my ticket, I jumped at the chance to go.

And I was surprised. Enthralled actually, by what I saw. This movie is hilarious. I haven't laughed at a movie more since The Hangover came out, and this rivals it for most laughs. To explain briefly, Dinner for Schmucks is about an analyst named Tim, played by Paul Rudd, who is looking for a promotion. And after a clever idea, he is offered the chance to finally move up in the firm. But first, his boss wants to learn to trust him, and invites Tim to a dinner he hosts. Each guest to the dinner must bring an idiot, or "schmuck", and present him/her to the rest of the group. Which is where Barry comes along (Steve Carell). Tim soon finds out that Barry has the ability to mess up someone's life within 5 seconds, and quickly destructs Tim's apartment and relationships. I won't ruin the rest for you, as it's all hilarious. I honestly have never laughed harder in a movie, and this is by far the funniest movie I've seen this year.

However, the highlight of the movie comes not from it's 2 stars, but from 2 of the minor characters. Jermaine Clement plays Kieran, an artist and borderline psycho fashion model. His performance is outstanding, as he often borders genius and insane at the same time. Another highlight comes from Zach Galifianakis. Previously seen in The Hangover, Galifianakis plays a man working for the IRS convinced he has the ability to control people's minds. His main test subject? Barry. Their battles, later revealed to be more private than previously thought (see quote up top), become a major focal point for comedic fodder. The climax of the dinner is one of the longest nonstop laughs I've had in recent memory, and only makes this movie more memorable.

See Dinner for Schmucks. Then see "Le diner de cons" for comparison, which I plan to do. Both are amazing movies, and you won't regret seeing them. Easily the funniest movie of the summer, and possibly the year. A great cast, screenplay, and direction make this movie a great laugh and comedic masterpiece.

9.0/10